


Mend My Bruised Resolve With Tender Hands

by TrickyTricky



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant Through Final Events on Polis Massa, M/M, Open Marriage, Post-Order 66
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-01 07:35:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20811434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrickyTricky/pseuds/TrickyTricky
Summary: A quiet, tentative hope is renewed and sacred resolution found between two lovers in the wake of devastation





	Mend My Bruised Resolve With Tender Hands

**Author's Note:**

  * For [smaragdbird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smaragdbird/gifts).

Once there was a man. He had sworn to dedicate his life to service and compassion, to stand as a shield in defense of those who could not defend themselves and a sword on behalf of those who would otherwise fall before cruelty and injustice. He had sworn to always serve the Light, to think of others before himself, to strive to seek the greatest good without bias or greed. 

He found true fulfillment and the lasting sparks of joy that such service brought.

Until all was destroyed around him by malevolent forces who had laid snares of conspiracy and deceit, brick by heavy brick, walling off each righteous course, one by one, until all had been rendered dust and flame and ash at their feet.

His name was Obi-Wan Kenobi and in that moment he felt as though he had already lived through a thousand lifetimes of pain and trial even though in years he was neither young nor yet old.

He watched with a heavy heart as a small shuttle blinked out of sight, disappearing into hyperspace. The warm, steady Light within the Force that he had been subconsciously cradling close attenuated into almost nothingness with the sudden leap in distance. Now that the Grandmaster was gone, he felt alone once again, as he had been for those terrible hours in the wake of the attack on Utapau, utterly at the mercy of the cold darkness that seemed to press in against him on all sides.

Jedi were not meant to be alone.

He had always been able to feel the others of his kind around him, had built a network of support and connections among them from his creche years onward. He had brothers and sisters within the Force from every species, holding him up as he had bolstered them in return. Those connections had been his lifeblood, ebbing and flowing within him like a heartbeat, always within reach when he opened his mind’s eye, as present and unceasing as a tidal flow.

Until suddenly they weren’t.

It had been Yoda, long ago, who had stood before him with a small, proud smile on his aged face as he knelt before the Council come to Naboo. Yoda who had anointed him a Knight of the Jedi Order with solemn ceremony as he bowed his head humbly and took his oaths, each one ringing with certainty and devotion into the Force as it was spoken.

Master Yoda had believed in him, had always pushed him to believe in himself, to reach his true potential, to overcome all obstacles placed before him and master his doubts and fears. To find the deep, true joy only possible when one acts within the Light, making choices to always strive for the good of others instead of seeking pleasure and emotional vindication for oneself.

And now Obi-Wan’s last master was gone away, taking himself into self-imposed exile, ready to serve as one final beacon of peace and knowledge for those who might yet walk the path of redemption and restoration for the future generations who still had hope.

For a moment he was almost overcome by visions of thick, thorny brambles rising up out of a cracked, dry landscape, surrounding him with creeping black vines on all sides, menacing and threatening to snare him within their vicious, greedy grasp.

He dismissed the vivid sense-picture his mind had conjured to represent the churning Darkness that saturated the Force around him now with some effort. He was well aware of the grim nature of his current circumstances. There was no point in dwelling on the corruption that was steeping into every corner of the galaxy, no purpose to be found by centering on his fears about the thread-thin hope their plans for a better future rested upon. 

He would continue to make each decision as he came to it with as much care and selfless intention as he had always been taught. He would honor the legacy of his people by continuing to serve as he had always done, despite so many people of the galaxy having decided they no longer needed such service as he would offer.

It was all he could do, now.

He felt unnaturally aware of his hands hanging empty at his sides and could almost muster a spark of surprise out of his dull misery when he realized it was because they already missed the tiny weight of a warm baby that had been held, pressed close to his heart, so recently. He had rocked young Luke in his arms for hours after his mother’s passing, the baby seemingly inconsolable as he wailed his discomfort and confused grief out to echo across the stars of an uncaring galaxy.

Finally the baby had quieted, likely due more to exhaustion than any of Obi-Wan’s unpracticed efforts at soothing him. He had laid the child next to his peacefully slumbering sister, leaving the bright little novas in peace as he went to bid farewell to the Grandmaster of his Order. They had all been in agreement about the need to separate, to scatter, to hide and survive to fight the swollen tide of evil once they had found better ground and mustered what little resistance would one day be possible. They would do their utmost to lay the groundwork for a better future that they might yet be able to make a reality with care and patient tending. 

There was a long, stony road to walk ahead of them. A lonely one, for him.

One without the bright, gleaming threads of love and connection that had previously tied him to all of his brothers and sisters in the Order. He didn’t yet know quite how he would make his way through his days without that web of unity and stalwart support that had always sustained him before.

He only knew that he somehow must.

He startled as a strong, broad hand settled suddenly on his shoulder, squeezing with reassuring firmness as it anchored him back into the present moment.

His prince looked concerned when Obi-Wan turned away from the wide station viewport to meet Bail’s eyes. He was as composed as ever to the casual glance, but there was that slight crinkle between his old friend’s eyes, his jaw clenched just a little tighter than normal that gave away his disquiet.

Obi-Wan couldn’t help the quiet little noise of _want_ and _weariness_ that escaped him when Bail raised one hand and slid it in a gentle caress across his cheek, winding behind his neck and combing his fingers gently through the short strands of hair that fell over the collar of his robe. Bail took that noise as assent, pulling with a gentle, inexorable force that Obi-Wan had no will left to even try to resist, reeling his lover in close until he could urge Obi-Wan’s head down to rest under his chin, their bodies instinctively curling in towards one another as they embraced. 

“I know what we agreed,” Bail whispered with a quiet intimacy, and Obi-Wan savored the tiny vibrations against his cheek, the deep rumble of his lover’s voice unspeakably soothing as it was felt as much as heard. “I know all the reasons why that course of action was decided upon, and I supported it at the time. But now that the moment has come, I find I’ve changed my mind.”

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and let himself have this moment of peace, letting his mind drift without conflict even as he took in the hypnotizing words addressed to him.

“Come with me, Obi-Wan. Come to Alderaan.” Bail kept his voice quiet and soothing. Not so much wheedling in tone, but almost musical as he brought all of his powers of persuasion to bear. “It will be as safe as anywhere in the galaxy right now, even for you and the boy. Palpatine and his cronies will be focused on Coruscant for weeks, snuffing out all remaining resistance and ensuring his power-base there is secure and unassailable. He won’t turn his eyes outward for some time. By then we’ll have you so well hidden, you’ll never be found by anyone who would do you harm. Alderaan will be safe for you.”

Obi-Wan could only shake his head in mute denial. That wasn’t the plan. The children had to be separated for their own safety, they had all acknowledged the obvious truth of it. Their greatest surety of survival was in scattering and going to ground. But the more his mind eased as he sank more deeply into his lover’s arms, the more he questioned their previous conclusions. Perhaps there was some truth in what the Prince of Alderaan was saying. 

“Come to Alderaan. You would be more than welcome. I can’t even begin to guess how often I’ve told you how eager Breha has been to meet you, and if anything, I’ve understated the situation. She has a suite of rooms already prepared for the day I finally bring a lover back to meet her, and she teases me more and more severely with every year that passes with it still empty and unused. You will be able to heal there under our care, and will emerge all the stronger and better able to protect your charge in the difficult years to come.”

Obi-Wan breathed in deeply, relaxing even further as he took in the familiar, subtle scent of Bail’s cologne, finally shaking the terrible smell of noxious fumes and burnt flesh from his nostrils. His arms came up and wound around the other man, clutching him even closer, hands twitching with a suddenly strong craving for the sensation of his lover’s warm skin sliding soft and smooth under his fingertips. He let out his breath in a shaky exhale as he shook his head once again, silently rejecting the offer. He needed no hope for himself. No comfort to ease his own deep wounds. His role now was to nurture the hope of others in a distant future, no matter the cost to himself.

“Please, Obi-Wan, I need you, now in this hour more than ever before,” the great Senator of the now-fallen Galactic Republic implored his beloved with no trace of vanity or presumption, only a sincere wish expressed from the depths of his soul. “Please, come with me to my home. I swear to you here and now that we can protect the children there, we will find a way to keep the eyes of the Emperor and his forces away from the scions who may one day stand against him. I don’t think I can do this without your help, Obi-Wan Kenobi. We will be stronger together, my love. Our daughter will need your guidance, our world will need your wisdom, our family will need your protection. Please, stand beside me now and help fulfill the hope we will build in the coming years.”

A single tear slid crystal bright down the Jedi’s cheek as the last of his resistance finally yielded at this third, most powerful supplication, his faithful kyber ringing out at his side with a resonant pulse of mirrored grief and determination within the Force as he grasped hold of his newly found resolve with everything that he was.

What he truly wished to be able to grant to these children of his dearest friend, his child, his brother, was for the loving support and community of the creche that he had known himself. He ached at the thought that they would never know the joy and fulfillment that was possible within the brotherhood of the Order, the sensation of falling with perfect trust and submission into the golden glowing threads of the Force, knowing that the tender hands of your comrades would already be reaching out in perfect understanding and connection to catch you and hold you close.

But those days had passed. Those once-bright hallways lined with stately columns that had rung with mischievous laughter during the day and at night's fall had echoed with crooning lullabies gentling younglings into sweet dreams within the Force’s embrace were lost to them all. Into exile they must all now go, into the dark, tangled woods of the unforgiving stars.

But, perhaps…

Perhaps he did not have to go alone after all. If they were exquisitely vigilant...

If they allowed no carelessness, no arrogance, not even a moment of negligent inattention to reveal their presence to the ruling powers that would snuff out the budding sweetness within these innocent children like a candle flame. 

Alderaan could be a haven. He knew that the twins would receive all the same love and support there that they would have been showered with as treasured younglings within the bosom of the Temple itself. Obi-Wan well-remembered the atmosphere of peace and tranquility that saturated the bountiful core world with its peace-loving, yet spirited populace. It could be as Bail said. Obi-Wan’s own soul longed for the promised peace that could yet be found, a balm for his torn spirit that had been rent asunder, leaving burnt and bloodied pieces behind in the deep pools of Utapau, on the blistering lava-shores of Mustafar.

Perhaps what was needed now by the galaxy was not more pain and bitter loneliness to answer the devastation that had wracked his people. 

Perhaps his oaths would truly be better served by setting his feet under him once again and standing in service of the Light in all its forms, as he had always done. 

As he would do once again.

“Yes,” Obi-Wan said simply, unable to hold back a smile through his tears as the joy of his companion welled up true and deep and washed over him in radiant waves. “Yes, I will come with you. We will stand together to build a better future for the children, one where the Light can thrive once again.”

It was a simple oath, one which lacked much of the formality and ceremony that the others he had dedicated his life to fulfilling had involved. But even as he spoke it, he could feel the bright threads that could be reached within the Light side of the Force surging all around them, tying their fates to one another’s forevermore.

It was simple, but he would gladly spend the rest of his days dedicated to fulfilling it.

They sealed their newly-forged union then and there with a kiss, one that trembled with yearning and a painfully tentative hope for something green and new to someday grow again from the ashes of their fallen dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> I looked to poetry for inspiration for the title, and found this lovely, tiny gem
> 
> Oath, by Briar Ren  
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/2340149/oath/


End file.
